A bit of fun and some good time to yourself...

I love comfort and pleasure, I love being happy, stress free and pampered, I love fine things, I love living comfortably, I love good food and I love eating out. I am sure almost every lady out there love all of these things listed above or at least would love the experience. Ladies always wish for all the above at a men’s expense. Every working lady or even a school kid should be able to treat herself every once in a while, eating out is not as expensive as rich people or men make it to be.

Every working or employed individual should be able to eat out at least twice a month, watch a movie or going to a spar. Its really not that expensive, it’s a matter of saving and budgeting, I mean you find that you spend a lot of money on things that you did not even budget for anyways.

 Going out to have breakfast at wimpy with your girls will never cost you more than R100 including drinks/milkshakes or waffles . (At Wimpy you even get breakfast specials from R20.00)

The other thing that people do not know is that at these restaurants there are always specials, specially Wimpy, and Spur.

At Spur you get breakfast specials ranging from R30.00 upwards

Almost all restaurants have specials in specific days of the week, where you buy one and get one free or 25% or 50% off.

So ladies, if you have never been taken out, please do yourself a pleasure and take yourself out and just have fun from your own pockets, Don’t give men the satisfaction that they doing you a favour by taking you out.

Even the most expensive restaurants that appear to be Crème de la crème, there is always something that you can afford, You can always have a Starter, Drink or a glass of wine and then dessert at a very reasonable price or just have a dessert and a drink or a glass of wine just as experience of being in a fancier than thou restaurant, as long as you browse the menu thoroughly, you will find something affordable.

Please ladies please, drop KFC, Steers, Debonairs and Nandos  for once in a while and do yourself a pleasure of tending yourself in a fancy restaurant

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nice prawn and vegetable stirfry with fried rice... ( it was on special)

 

 

 

me trying to taste and hoping not to be dissapointed....

 

 

 

and I wasnt...yumm

 

Eating out can realy be fun and affordable!!!

Beautiful, thick and curvaceous!!!!

 The problem is neither with you nor the size of your body but with your fashion sense. The greatest adornment for the body is the garment, nothing else but the garment. Being fat is not an excuse for you to not look stylish.

Thick and curvaceous women can be really really stunning….

 

 

 

Anele Mdoda Looking stunning... 

 

 

 

My Girl Siya   

 

 

Anele Mdoda 

 

 

 

 

My girl  Siya rockin a turban and stunning gold ear rings 

 

 

 

Anele Mdoda rocking a high waist and a nice Xlarge neck piece 

 

 

Again, Anele on high waist and a stunning Xlarge neck  piece

 

 

 

 

Me, Ibhinqakazi rocking red and gold...

 

 

 

Now ladies, who still thinks that fuller women cant be HOT???

Its alright even though its not, but it is and it will be

 

“A picture tells a thousand stories” a wise man once said. I do not know what thousand stories this picture tells but it’s clear to see that there is nothing joyous in those stories. And as a woman who has gone through difficulties such as immense oppression, abuse, inequality, and a lot of other painful encounters that I would rather not put into writing, its evident that this picture depicts sorrow. Different women go through different struggles everyday but they always find a way to make things right, sometimes it’s not all right but we got to act like it’s all right. It’s not all right that an innocent woman got raped and brutally bruised because she was homosexual, it’s not okay that a girl child grows up bearing the pain of knowing that an uncle that she loved and trusted with all of her heart raped her or even worse… biological father rapes her, it’s not all right, it is not all right but we say we are all right. Come on now is it all right that you dedicate your heart and soul to someone that you love only to discover that you are being played.  In life  there comes a time when a woman will just sit down all alone and cry out all of her pain and then she will rise and dust herself up and say…..IT IS ALL RIGHT

 

 

 

To that Girl/lady/woman who her relationships never seem to work out

 Have you ever stopped to wonder what the cause may be? Well I would like to believe that people rush into things, they never take enough time to get to know each other very well and by the time they realize that they are not compatible for each other, they have already gone too far, by too far I mean sexual intercourse or even worse... pregnancy.

 

You see the thing about relationships is that they are demanding, they are a lot of work, they need attention and there are a lot of emotions involved. Love may serve as a great foundation for a relationship but it’s not all that there is. When one wishes to enter in a relationship it is wise to first get to know yourself very well before you can do the honors of bringing someone in your life. People always feel the need to be in a relationship even when they don’t know what it is that they are hoping to find from the relationship.

People are following this trend of just getting into things and just have fun but what they do not realize is that, there no games where the heart is concerned and there is definitely no games where sexual intercourse is concerned for whatever actions you take, there are consequences and other consequences are no fun at all especially with someone that you are just having fun with.

 People should get into relationships sober minded with an equally sober minded partner.

People should talk about their expectations,  about their feelings and they must be absolutely  honest. about them.

 

The key to all of this ladies is to perform what we call an introspection to check if you are emotionally stable and if you are ready to be in a union.

 

To be in a union means two individuals coming together as one to serve a common purpose, you are no longer separate independent individuals, this means that your decisions and your actions now affects the other person. This means that both individuals have to be considerate towards each other and towards each other’s feelings. This is possible if both partners perfectly understand one another.

 

Before you get into a relationship, know what you want so that you do not settle for less

Know yourself well before you try to understand someone else

Know what you will tolerate and what you won’t (know your boundaries)

Have standards, don’t sell yourself cheap

 

If you know yourself very well, you will not settle for what you are not worth, if you know yourself, you will not be mislead and you will be very likely to fall into traps. A sober minded woman makes sober decisions and sober decisions usually equals to happiness and peace.

 

Some women however prefer to wait on the Lord; they prefer to pray for the husbands they want. Omama bethu kdala babasethi xa bethetha, Umyendi/indoda iyathandazelwa. This process however requires a lot of faith and patience for the Lords timing does not function the same way as ours. Some people meet in church, they court for a long time, like months or years and then when they are ready to be in a relationship and marry, they do so with the blessing of parents, church and their Reverend or the Pastor of their church. This is usually a very fruitful route for some churches really urge the couples to really get to know one another and along the way they do couple counseling which is performed by the pastor.

 

So my advice is that whether you looking for a boyfriend or husband or to just settle down, make sure that you are sober minded and that you are emotionally stable. Make sure you take things very slow so that you know  exactly what you want and that you are aware of the other party ‘s expectations from the relationship  and whether you will be able to deliver, so that if not you can easily pull back with no strings attached. 

Here are some couples that made it work and are still continuing to conquer

 

 

 

My brother and his beloved fiancee ( Moyisi madikane and Vuyokazi Dywili)

 

Bongi And Collin Damans

 

 

 

Nqubeko and Ntokozo Mbatha 

 

 

 

 

 

Thabo and Nonhlanhla Mdluli

 

What these couples have in common is that they all made God the foundation of their union.

My Understanding of a woman (IBHINQA)

When I think of a woman, I think of love, beauty, warmth, integrity, wisdom, honesty, dignity, principles, morals and values.

I believe all women should possess all of the above.

First and foremost a woman should have morals, a woman should have values, and a woman should have principles. Your beauty and attractiveness as a woman should be in the way you walk, in the way you talk, in the way you carry yourself around, your poise and the way you dress. A woman should safe guard their dignity in all that they do, the behaviour of a woman should always be of good conduct. A woman who relies on the standards set by the society or friends in order to distinguish between right and wrong is not is an appealing woman, she is not bold enough to be her own person and that is not attractive. A woman should possess intellect; a woman should be firm, should equip themselves with enough knowledge, wisdom and power to be able to stand on their own, to stand on their word and to be listened too.

A woman is naturally designed to be attractive, God created the universe, formed a man , planted a garden in Eden and he put the man that He had formed there, He made all kinds of beautiful trees that bore good fruit but the man was not happy, He took soil from the ground and formed all animals and birds and gave the man authority to name them, still the man was not satisfied. God himself still felt that the man was still lonely, He said “it is not write for the man to be alone “and then He created a woman and the man said “finally, here is one of my own kind “. This goes to show that there is no need for women to go around throwing themselves at men and sleeping around trying to make themselves wanted or desired. A good man knows a good woman when they see her same way they know a desperate one when they see her too.

A true beautiful woman should be that woman an elderly lady looks at in admiration and wish that they could take home as their daughter in law, when a young girl looks at her, she should wish to resemble her, when a man looks at her, he should wish for the woman to be the bearer of his children, the one he introduces to the parents and the one that he boasts about.

A woman must bring about warmth, she should have a pure heart and she must be beautiful. Sadly the society today, magazines, billboards and news papers puts a lot of emphasis on physical beauty which is not entirely wrong for people really do need to take care of their bodies. In order for the skin to glow and be beautiful, one must work on it, people must bath, they must eat healthy, exercise frequently to keep in shape and moisturise the skin to keep it revitalized and moist, yet still that is not beauty, its cleanliness.

To me physical beauty consists of cleanliness, the way you smile and appropriateness in the way you dress, not your cleavage, not your thighs and definitely not your behind. Of course, there is nothing wrong with adornments but you must also not forget that they constitute to what you look like not what/who you are, who/what you are inside is made up of your heart, your thought process and your soul.

Women should constantly work on bettering themselves and adorning their inner side the same way they do on their outer side, there is absolutely nothing wrong with becoming a better person, a much better person and a much much better person.

The thing with a purely beautiful woman is that when you are beautiful inside, and outside and you have a pure heart, you are not only beautiful and attractive to the world, you are beautiful and attractive to God as well.

That to me is a woman, ibhinqa

 

My Pikininiz

I have met kids in my life but these two are a rare breed. They are respectfull, loving, caring and supportive, those that have visited my house can attest.

 

 Ntsika, my nanaz is a special child, he is obedient, respectful and loving. You can shout him at your loudest voice and he will listen to you obediently and still kiss you when you done shouting, he is that child when you done shouting him, you feel guilty and you cant help but to call him back to say sorry even when you dont know what you sorry for. He asstonishes everybody at home with his rare personality, a child that never stays angry and never sulks. He brings joy to my heart. He is fond of helping others and can make friends with anyone, wether young or old, boy or girl including the hustling guys on the streets. He has mean skills on the basketball quad and is one of a kind sketcher

Yothando, yozana wam, my little princess... she is the most caring soul I have ever met, she hates bad mouthing, she hates making fun of the less fortunate and she wishes she was a superhero or atleast had  some kind of magics so that she can help all the poor people and defend all the kids that are bullied. This dynamic 8 year old child enjoys baking cookies for the "childrens home" kids, she loves visiting them and bringing them toys and books so that they could read. She can be such a baby at times and she knows that she can get away with almost evertyhing with me, I am always the one that she comes up to when her "baby" tendencies kick in.

I love these pikininiz with my heart and soul.

 

 

Ntsiks and Oyster

To My Sister, My Other Half and My Best Friend

I am actually starring at the ceiling as I think of words to describe my sister and words to thank her for being in my life, I don’t know where to begin because there is nothing she has not done for me and words are just not enough, the memories of everything she has done for me are just travelling at 260kilometres n my mind and its hard to just single out one or just a few but I will try. 

 

 At first we did not have it easy, we did not understand each other and I could not stand you nor your friends but that was short-lived. We became the best of friends ever; we became each other’s guardians, and each other’s strength. I cannot recall the times I have cried on your shoulders or the times I have called on your cellphone asking you to comfort me or to make me laugh or for you to pray for me. No one else understands me like you do, none else knows the real me but you. God brought you in my life for a purpose for I have never known a better companion than you. I love how we can dream and chat from midnight till the early hours of the morning and only when we see the sun come out do we realise that we had not slept, I love it when we pray together and when we read the bible together. I love the passion we have about helping out other young people and the need to make a difference in the lives of the disadvantaged.

 

 Titsie, I would not have accomplished the things I have if it was not for you, you give me strength to continue being the strong willed and a powerful woman that I am, I never knew what I had and who I am until you told me, until you pointed it out. I am so proud of what you have become, you have become a powerful child of God, you are ambitious, courageous, wise, a woman of faith and a woman of prayer and I love how you put God before everything else. I admire your faith and your strength. You have become everything that an older sister wishes for a younger sister and even more. I love you with the fullness of my heart. mncwaaaa

These are the people who have contributed to the young woman that I am today

To my mom

Nobantu Agnes Nombeko, every time I think of you, I close my eyes, my cheeks and the corners of my eyes get warm, when I open my eyes again, tears fall down. I would not have known love if it was not for you. I loved how you called me "mafungwashe" I did not know what it meant then because I was young but I loved how your face lit up every time you said it, I remember how you cuddled me to sleep all the nights I have spent with you, I remember how you bathed me whilst still in my blankets every winter morning when I had to go to school ( you know how when we were kids, you bathed at night and then in the morning you just wipe here and there), my mom did the wiping whilst I wast still in my bankets, I remember how when you cried I would also cry even though I did not know why you cried, I remember being the only poor child not picked on because people along with other children were petrified of what happens when you got mad because someone had made me cry, I remember how  much my father had angered you but you forgave him just for me, so that I could know who my father is and meet my family from my father’s side, wisest decision you have ever made, because both you and dad are not here today and I am in the care of the people you had sent me to meet. You have taught me love, survival, church, strength and morality. I know the compromises and the sacrifices you made to make sure I was happy, and I appreciate it. I was your Princess and you were my Queen, and all I ever wanted was to be to be like you.

 

To My Father

Jack Tukumane Madikane, I had a very little time with you, 2 and half years to be precise. I had not seen you since I was a baby but when you came to see me in my mothers house, I walked up straight to you and I said “ molo tatam” I remember exactly how astonished everyone was with the identification, after that day, you never ever wanted to live another day without me. You gave me nothing but unconditional love, the love that you gave me was enough to make up for all the other years I have spent without you, your smile, your hugs, your kisses and the rides to town where the best moments and gestures of the memories we made together. You were a very loving men, your house was always full of people from oo Makhulu to small cousins from all over our clan, you loved and treated everyone equally. When my mother told me about Dimbaza, she told me that I will meet my siblings Vuyisile no Nosiphiwo but I met a lot more. Ndiyabulela Gatyeni ngothando lwakho nangazo zonke izinto ondenzele zona, when I met you, everythng made sense in my life

 

To My Brother

 

Vuyisile Madikane... ndinga ndingakugalela ityuwa ungabuni bhuti wam. when you and your beloved wife took me in you care, I was only 12 years old, today I am 25. I do not even want to imagine what would have happened to me had you not taken me in. No one talked you into taking care of me, you did out of your free will and I am doing everything in my power to make sure that you do not regret that decision. At school I study so hard to make sure that  you can see that I appreciate the things that you do for me, Thank you for loving me and treating me as your daughter, your kids are struggling to call me aunt because there had never been a time where they felt that I was not part of the family. Yoyo recently asked me " Akona, how are you not our sister?" tried to explain but it was all not making sense to her, then finally she asked me " did you not come out of mama's tummy?" and then she looked at me for a while and then she says" arg... you still my older sister" I thank God for you in my life, for if it was not for you....I Don’t Know.

 

To My Beloved Sister In-law

 

Mrs Fundiswa Madikane, Maduna, Gubevu, Nokhala, Jiyana, mSuthu, u Bhuti angabe undenzele zonke izinto but he could have not taught me how to be a proper young woman, a woman of integrity and a woman of virtue. Xa kuthethwa ngomntu ozithandayo kuthethwa ngawe, you taught me to be happy with who I am, to apprecaite the way in which God has created me, you taught me to embrace my unique self and walk with my head held up high. You taught us to love and respect ourselves and our bodies, you told us that your husband is the only man you have ever known and that is why we sing high praises about you for you are one of the fewest ladies there are and the only lady we desire to be like is you. I am the young woman that I am today because I have learnt from you, people and fellow learners at school ask me all the time why am I so disciplined and I don’t Know what to say because I am only doing what I have seen being  done ekhaya, ndenza lento ndikbona nawe uyenza so I always reply by shrugging my shoulders. When you first took me in, you were 26 years and I was 12 years old, it was a huge responsibility especial for a young woman who had just gotten married and had just had a child of her own but we made it work. Ibhinqa nguwe Dunakazi

 My Older brother

 

Ta Bhiza, you were the first person I kew from my fathers side of the family. A lot of people do not know that you brought me christmas clothes every December when I was still leaving with my mother, the clothes you bought were beautiful and of high quality, my mother created a special shelf for them in the wardrobe and I only wore them at special functions and at church. Even when I had to come to Dimbaza you were still there for me, every time you came home, soze ungandinyengezeli imali, then no one else gave me R100 rands but you and it was such a huge money then. I love you so much and I will for ever treasure you in my heart...

A litlle bit of who I am...

Ndingu maGatyeni, Mamali, Ndondela, Nkomo ezibomvu, uMsengana. Ndizalwa yintombi yakwa Dzana, iBhacakazi yena ezalwa li Bhelekazi. Utata ondizalayo yena nguGatyeni, uMnywabe. I embrace culture, not culture as a religion but culture as a doctrine. I love the teachings of the old days (imfundiso za kwantu ngendlela yokuziphatha), they taught morality, principles, and values. A woman could not just behave anyhow, they had to safe guard their diginity in all that they do.(Umntu obhinqileyo wayeziphatha nge ntlonipho)

 

I am a very passionate young woman, I put passion and dedication in everything that I do, I am an optimist, a bit stubborn and a opiniated at times but I can also be very understandng, I am patient and slow to anger, I am a loyal and faithful friend, sister and cousin, I am observant and  also a good judge of character. I am a voice of reason to my friends and my siblings.

 

I hate disruption, I hate dishonesty and I hate being pushed too hard.

 

I draw inspiration from different characters,different personality traits and different situations. I am inspired by women like Khanyi Dlomo, Carol Bouer, Mam Wendy Luhabe, Basetsana Khumalo, Maya Angelou and all the other successful women out there who did not have to compromise their dignity to make things happen and also Mam Nkosazana Clarice Dlamini- Zuma for her humility, her love and dedication which has showed in the way she has fullfled her positions as Minister of health, Foreign Affairs and minister of home affairs from 1994 till 2012

 

I am motivated by love, my ability to love unconditionally, love from my family and love from friends.

 

Above all of this, I am a child of God, without God in my Life I dont know where I would be or who would I be. I have an identity because God gave me one, I acknowledge the fact that I am here because the THE CABINET OF THE HEAVENS WHICH CONSISTS OF JESUS THE SON, GOD THE FATHER AND THE HOLY SPIRIT ACTUALLY SAT DOWN AND THEY DECIDED THAT I TOO HAVE A ROLE TO FULLFIL N THE WORLD.

I love the Lord with all of my my heart, mind and soul.