IBHINQA: To that Girl/lady/woman who her relationships never seem to work out

Have you ever stopped to wonder what the cause may be? Well I would like to believe that people rush into things, they never take enough time to get to know each other very well and by the time they realize that they are not compatible for each other, they have already gone too far, by too far I mean sexual intercourse or even worse... pregnancy.

You see the thing about relationships is that they are demanding, they are a lot of work, they need attention and there are a lot of emotions involved. Love may serve as a great foundation for a relationship but it’s not all that there is. When one wishes to enter in a relationship it is wise to first get to know yourself very well before you can do the honors of bringing someone in your life. People always feel the need to be in a relationship even when they don’t know what it is that they are hoping to find from the relationship.

People are following this trend of just getting into things and just have fun but what they do not realize is that, there no games where the heart is concerned and there is definitely no games where sexual intercourse is concerned for whatever actions you take, there are consequences and other consequences are no fun at all especially with someone that you are just having fun with.

People should get into relationships sober minded with an equally sober minded partner.

People should talk about their expectations, about their feelings and they must be absolutely honest. about them.

The key to all of this ladies is to perform what we call an introspection to check if you are emotionally stable and if you are ready to be in a union.

To be in a union means two individuals coming together as one to serve a common purpose, you are no longer separate independent individuals, this means that your decisions and your actions now affects the other person. This means that both individuals have to be considerate towards each other and towards each other’s feelings. This is possible if both partners perfectly understand one another.

Before you get into a relationship, know what you want so that you do not settle for less

Know yourself well before you try to understand someone else

Know what you will tolerate and what you won’t (know your boundaries)

Have standards, don’t sell yourself cheap

If you know yourself very well, you will not settle for what you are not worth, if you know yourself, you will not be mislead and you will be very likely to fall into traps. A sober minded woman makes sober decisions and sober decisions usually equals to happiness and peace.

Some women however prefer to wait on the Lord; they prefer to pray for the husbands they want. Omama bethu kdala babasethi xa bethetha, Umyendi/indoda iyathandazelwa. This process however requires a lot of faith and patience for the Lords timing does not function the same way as ours. Some people meet in church, they court for a long time, like months or years and then when they are ready to be in a relationship and marry, they do so with the blessing of parents, church and their Reverend or the Pastor of their church. This is usually a very fruitful route for some churches really urge the couples to really get to know one another and along the way they do couple counseling which is performed by the pastor.

So my advice is that whether you looking for a boyfriend or husband or to just settle down, make sure that you are sober minded and that you are emotionally stable. Make sure you take things very slow so that you know exactly what you want and that you are aware of the other party ‘s expectations from the relationship and whether you will be able to deliver, so that if not you can easily pull back with no strings attached.

Here are some couples that made it work and are still continuing to conquer